Shukasari

The light of my life has gone The very breath of my soul is no more Yet he is not gone He lives on In my heart In my breath In my everything For he is everywhere But this unfortunate soul cannot feel so For this separation is going to go on for a lifetime Perhaps by his mercy, some realization will come That he is actually my life and soul And who he really is .....

Book distributing can be a little daunting at times. But most times it’s pretty interesting, especially when you get to meet all sorts of people. On a recent visit to my dentist I brought along the local “Message of Godhead (MOG)” I mean, you’ll never know who you’re going to meet and when. After the scaling was done, I took out the MOG at the reception. At first the lady was a little apprehensive. I told her she could give me any amount as a donation. Then the head nurse who attended to me earlier came over. She looked at the MOG and said she worships Durga-devi. I told her it was alright. Then she asked me whether I was giving her the MOG to which I replied in the affirmative. To my delight, she took out 10 bucks as a donation. I told her that it was a lot. She smiled and said she will read it. Oh, I did mention a little daunting at first. Well, it was another visit to another dentist. This time it was my grandmother’s dentist. As usual I whipped out the MOG to the r...

I read an interesting event that took place in Srila Gurudeva’s life when he was a police inspector. At that time an important file went missing. All of Srila Gurudeva’s colleagues were anxiously looking for it. With all the commotion going around him, Srila Gurudeva was calmly chanting his rounds. One of his colleagues asked him whether he was anxious at all. It was a file containing an important case, you know. Srila Gurudeva calmly replied, “No.” As soon as he finished his rounds, Srila Gurudeva got up and went straight to a particular shelf that contained the file! Amazing lila that teaches us the power of the holy names! Srila Gurudeva’s lila reminded me of one such incident that happened not too long ago. When Syamarani didi was staying in my house her computer used to go bonkers almost always. Her assistant would rave and rant about this, because they are doing such important seva sending out all the Hari-katha to everyone around the world. Syamarani didi would give her a kno...

What an emotionally and spiritually charged roller coaster parikrama!!!!. Srila Gurudeva’s lila is indeed very mysterious. Not easy to fathom what is going on. But one thing is for sure, we cannot assume that he is an ordinary person and will succumb to disease like any ordinary persons. "A Vaishnava is always protected by the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but if he appears to be an invalid, this gives a chance to his disciples to serve him." (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Adi-lila, 9.11 purport) Srila Gurudeva has “cured” many persons with ailments. One such example is of this scribe. Many times chest pains plagued me. Once it was so bad that I could hardly breathe. At that time, Srila Gurudeva was to visit me at my home. Somehow I managed to make some preparations. The pain gradually subsided and when Srila Gurudeva was taking his leave he asked me whether I was working on any book project. I said I was not well and had chest pains. With a stroke of his hand he simply said, “I...

When the Malaysian sanga heard about Srila Gurudeva’s health, the devotees held a 24 hour chanting at Sri Sri Radha Govinda Gaudiya Math, Petaling Jaya. The newly opened Sri Sri Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Temple of Understanding held chanting and prayers twice a day throughout the weekends. All the devotees were invited to come together to pray for the prolonged good health of Srila Gurudeva. Many devotees, far or near, in their own unique way, offered prayers for Srila Gurudeva so that His Divine Grace will be with all of us for a very, very long time to come. The devotees also had a devotional kirtan and prayer in conjunction with the world wide chanting of Srila Gurudeva’s quick recovery. During this trying moment, this insignificant soul, spoke to a few devotees whether they would like to hold nama-sankirtan at the park where Srila Gurudeva used to go to during His morning walks. The park is very close by to Sri Sri Radha Govinda Gaudiya Math. Unfortunately the weather here was...

When I heard about the passing away of Sripad Bhakti Prakash Hrishikesh Maharaja, I was a little numb at first. My feelings were not completely settled to his passing. But after looking at his pictures, it finally dawned upon me that His Holiness was no more in this planet. Maharaja reminded me of someone so dynamic in serving Sri Hari, Guru & Vaishnavas. Nothing was impossible for him. Maharaja used to go heads on without thinking of any consequences. He did not believe much in meetings and talking about how to do a seva because he was an action man. He always said to me, “Let’s just do it. Krsna will take care of everything!!!” Maharaja was the first person to assist me in printing the book “Shower of Love.” When Srila Gurudeva ordered me to always write, I was totally lost as what to do. With whatever little knowledge I had, the compilation of lectures took place. But it was Maharaja who showed me the ropes of how to put in the footnotes, headings, sub-headings, titles etc. I re...

Recently many devotees were jolted about the serious condition of Srila Gurudeva’s health. Many of us offered our prayers so that Srila Gurudeva will stay many more years with us. Srila Gurudeva is now getting better. We must know that Sri Guru is not an ordinary personality. Srila Gurudeva Himself mentioned this that He is not ordinary and He can cure Himself if He wants, and it all depends on His disciples. Yes, it all depends on the disciples. We all want Srila Gurudeva with us for a very, very long time. Yet, most of us seem to miss out the point. By constantly being at logger heads and disrespectful to each will not please Srila Gurudeva. Whatever orders He has given we must carry it out with our heart and soul. What must it take for us to see the brother and sister in all of us? We are indeed one big family under the guidance of Srila Gurudeva. Yes, it all depends on Srila Gurudeva’s disciples.

After wandering around in countless species of life, 8 million 400 thousand to be precise, we have gotten this human form of life. With this human form of life, we are to do devotional practice and surrender to a bona fide guru. But our hearts are filled with anarthas (unwanted things). Thus, making it difficult for us to progress spiritually. Instead of speaking hari - katha , we rather indulge in criticizing devotees, talk about their past misdeeds and what have yous'. How can we find perfection in others when we ourselves are so imperfect? Take a moment a reflect upon this. If we try to see only the good in others, (which is of course very difficult to do) but with perseverance and much prayer, this almost impossible task will become possible. Then we will be able to experience some bliss from within, besides doing service to Sri Hari , Guru and Vaishnavas . Our intention to come into this spiritual life in the first place is not to be caught up in the 8 million, 400 thousan...

According to the revealed scriptures, there are four defects that plague us mortals. Our senses are imperfect. Yet, we want perfection when there is no such thing as perfection. It is only in our own concocted mind we have manufactured what is perfection. Perfection for one individual maybe imperfection to another. The second defect is we are in illusion. We take what is not to be what it is. We are not this body. Yet we care so much for it that we forget we are actually a spirit soul. When someone dies, we are usually concerned about burying or cremating the body according to one’s customs and traditions. We say, “O I’ve cremated my father or I’ve buried my father.” Have we ever heard of anyone replying, “O you cruel person, how could you bury your father or cremate him!” It is understood that only the body was buried or cremated. So where is the father? We must realize that we are not actually this body. The next defect we have is the tendency to cheat. Almost all of us have cheated...

There are three fold miseries always plaguing us. The misery arising from our minds, athyatmika. The miseries given to us by others, adhibautika. Then there are miseries that we mortals suffer from those coming from the demi-gods, adhidaivika. Adhidaivika are miseries arising from earth quake, hurricanes, thunder storms and other natural calamities which we have no control of. Adhibautika are miseries others give us, causing us pain and suffering. Adhyatmika are miseries arising from our own minds. We can cut these miseries by constantly chanting the holy names and serving the Vaishnavas. Our minds play many tricks on us. We tend to speculate things which are not true, worry unnecessarily and always think about what is going to happen or what others are thinking about us. If we clear our minds of these unwanted thoughts by servitude attitude and constantly chant the holy names, then at least the other two miseries becomes somewhat tolerable. Miseries from our own minds plunges us into ...

We desire for many things in this human form of life. In fact we desire to be beautiful, to be intelligent, to be super rich and list goes on and on. At the end of the day, we cannot take even a farthing with us when we depart. So we desire for things we cannot actually possess. Then we cry our hearts out when we lose something. When it is suppose to be lost, it will be lost. The scriptures say that when we lose a wallet and if there are many people around it, if you are suppose to find it, you will still find it. But if you have so much money stashed in your house, with full security, if the money is suppose to be stolen then it will happen. The Lord arranges all these. So we lament for those things that we lose when in fact we cannot possess them.

The other day I told my 9 year old student about the story of the "Talking Pot." Sometimes I try to inject in a very "tricky" manner about our Krsna conscious philosophy after a lesson. I usually start by asking my students whether they would love to hear a story or not. They would always say "Y - E - S!!!" in a cheerful manner. These children have no idea who Krsna is. Besides they are not devotees' children either. So story telling is the best way to get the message across. OK coming back to the "Talking Pot." It's a story about how a disciple felt he could do better if he left his Guru's ashram. His service was to fetch water from the Yamuna daily. The disciple thought he would be better off if he found a job and got married. But the pot talked him out of it and he ran back to his Guru. For the full story click here: h ttp://shukasari.blogspot.com/2009/04/talking-water-pot.html After the story I asked my student, Darren, about the ...

Once a senior disciple of Srila Bhakti Promode Puri Maharaja related a very inspiring experience he had with his Guru Maharaj. His Guru Maharaj appointed him to be a pujari in one of the temples. But being a non-Indian, he was constantly badgered about his birth by other devotees who are bent on giving him a hard time. ( Sometimes Sri Krsna tests us in many ways . And it’s all about tolerance and hanging on to Sri Guru’s order .) Not being able to take the mental and emotional torture, he went to his Guru Maharaj to be relieved of his service. Instead his Guru Maharaj told him to continue to do the service. But the mental and emotional torture continued. Finally, he approached his Guru Maharaj and explained his situation. Then his Guru Maharaj said he may do other services. This he did but he always met with many types of obstacles. Be it from people or the environment itself. He tried in many ways to preach here and there but all was quite unsuccessful. When his Guru Maharaj left the ...

Mahaprasadam is non different than the Lord Himself. Krsna has mercifully given His remnants so that we may partake and offer service to Him via Sri Guru & Vaishnavas. Yet there are times we merely look at mahaprasadam as ordinary foodstuff. We feel delighted when the taste is good. And we grumble when it is not up to par as we condition mahaprasadam. Our tongue only want to relish palatable foodstuffs. Once during Kartik parikrama, Premananda Prabhu (a very senior disciple of my Srila Gurudeva) said that if we look at mahaprasadam as mere foodstuff, then it is an offense. He goes on to say that if we fall sick, the best remedy is mahaprasadam. Such is his conviction and faith towards mahaprasadam. Therefore this insignificant soul, is praying at the lotus feet of my Srila Gurudeva and great Vaishnavas that I maybe able to realise such truths in my heart. Mahaprasadamki jaya!!!

Today is Rama Navami. The pastimes of Lord Rama is endless. Lord Sankarsana Himself, who continuously sings the glories of Sri Rama with unlimited mouths is unable to touch the end in any way. Such is the glories of Sri Rama-katha. One of the most important lessons in Rama-katha is the way of love. Love is crooked. Love knows no rules and regulations. Love has its own way of doing things. Bharath wanted Rama to rule Ayodhya as the rightful king. Prior to this Rama was banished to the forest for 14 years. Bharath's love for Rama is an endless ocean. And Rama can sink in that ocean. But the question is, does Rama wants to come back and rule the kingdom? That was not Sri Rama's plan. Sometimes we force our way of thinking and our wants unto our beloved. Not knowing what our beloved actually wants. In the same way, we think we want to do this or that for our most worshipable Sri Guru. Yet we do not know what is the innermost desire of Sri Guru. Our material desires clouds us. It en...

In my previous post I did mention that I have a key chain with a picture of the Divine Couple. At the back the maha-mantra is printed. So whenever I teach my students I put this key chain on the table. One of my students, Rachel, liked the picture very much. She started to chant the maha-mantra. She initially chanted “Haribolo.” I was not feeling too good that day when I went to tutor her. Rachel felt sorry for me and said she would chant the maha-mantra 10 times! Just so I would not fall sick. How sweeeet! She did chant and prayed to the Divine Couple that her teacher will be healthy again. The Lord resides in the hearts of every living entity. One may not be exposed to any Vedic culture or even be practising vegetarianism. Krsna can make the impossible, to become possible. I did not preach anything to Rachel. All she saw in the beginning was a picture of Srila Gurudeva, the Deities and the devotees. And I said to her “Haribolo” to which she repeated it. And now some impression is the...

It was really spiritually uplifting when Darren ( see the previous post ) always chants Haribolo each time I chanted to him. Now I decided to try this on another student. I started saying Haribolo to Jason some time back. Each time I chant Haribolo, he reciprocates. And the best part no matter how many times I chant Haribolo, Jason would repeat it. The other day I was teaching his sister. And I was telling her (like all typical teacher does), "Do you understand?" Jason who happened to be in the room said, "No I don't understand. I only understand Haribolo." Of course I was a bit taken aback. But not entirely shocked. Somehow an impression has been made into this little boy's heart. And I did not even chant Haribolo to him first. This time he initiated it. The Lord's name is truly great. (O yes, his sister just laughed at her brother Jason. And she chanted Haribolo as well)

There are times when I try to think of ways to somehow get my students to chant the holy names. One sure way to get them all ears is to tell them ghost stories. But this is no ordinary ghost story. It involves Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur, who was a little boy at that time. It's the story of the temple ghost, where Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur chanted the whole night and delivered the ghost at the abandoned temple. This is how I got Darren, my 9 year old student to chant, "Haribolo!" At first I told him to raise both his arms and jump while chanting "Haribolo!" He did just that. So now, each time I chant "Haribolo!" Darren would also jump with upraised arms and chant "Haribolo!!" Sometimes even "Radhe Radhe!" The power of the holy name is simply unimaginable. Darren has no Indian or Vedic cultural background. He is an innocent child that simply listened to his teacher to chant. Most importantly wit...

(This story was related by Srimati Uma didi on Nityananda Prabhu's Appearance Day on 28th January 2010) Once there was a businessman. He loaded his donkey with rice, sugar and other foodstuffs and headed towards a hill. Soon it was almost evening. The business found a spot to rest. Before doing so he took out his ropes and bound each donkeys'legs to another. The next day the businessman went along his journey. He was already 30 miles away from the place he rested the previous night. Just then he remembered he left his ropes and it is quite impossible for him to get it back. Soon it will be night. He was worried his donkeys may wander away. At that moment a sadhu (holy man) came by. The holy man asked, "O sir, why do you look so worried?" The businessman said, "I forgot to bring the ropes to bind my donkeys. Now they may wander off!" "O don't worry. Just make hand gestures that you are binding your donkeys. And they will not move from there, ...

Party politics are everywhere. The other day I read the Bhagavad-gita verse 2 and 3 which only affirmed that such a thing has always existed. Here Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaja explains that when Duryodhana saw the military phalanx arranged by the Pandavas, he got very disturbed. He asked his teacher Dronacarya about the matter. Dronacarya has taught the Kurus and the Pandavas, including the son of Maharaja Drupada who would end up killing Dronacarya. Although the big commander in chief Dronacarya and Grandfather Bhismadeva knew that the Kurus were wrong in waging a war against the Pandavas, still they sided with them. This was because they were obligated to the Kurus. The Kurus was maintaining them with financial support and so on. In the same way, sometimes they are so much party politics which would make one to take sides. Even though they know what they are doing is wrong. It is the “comfort zone” that they want to relish without taking into consideration of their own actions....

Today is the appearance day of my most worship able Srila Gurudeva. On this day, Sri Guru will worship Srila Vyasadeva and the entire guru-parampara. A bona fide guru never takes worship from his disciples. Instead He offers it to Krsna, Srimati Radhika and the entire guru-parampara. Below is an excerpt of the meaning of Vyasa-puja given by my Srila Gurudeva in Hawaii. "It is the custom in our Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya Sampradaya that any acarya who is widely spreading Krsna consciousness in the line of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Srila Rupa Gosvami under the guidance of Sri Krsna Dvaipayana Vyasadeva will worship Srila Vyasadeva and the guru-parampara on his birthday. This worship is called Guru-puja and also Vyasa-puja. We have seen how our Gurudeva and his god-brothers used to very humbly celebrate their Vyasa-puja. This occasion is not meant for taking puja, worship, from disciples. On his birthday the acarya worships his guru and guru-parampara – Srila Vyasadeva, Sri Krsna, Srima...

(Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Trivikrama Gosvami Maharaja is the senior god-brother and intimate friend of Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja. He is also one of the senior most disciples of Srila Bhakti-prajnana Kesava Gosvami Maharaja, the sannyasa guru of Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.) Today is the appearance day of Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Trivikrama Gosvami Maharaja. I am remembering how Srila Maharaja once told me, "Always remember Krsna!" After which he started to laugh and proceeded to his room. On this day I am praying that by His Divine Grace's mercy I would be able to always remember Krsna. O Maharaja, may you always sprinkle a drop of your mercy on someone as fallen as me.

There are times when I feel I cannot preach to someone, especially if they are little children of a totally different ethnic background. Well, it is hard enough to preach to adults, what more to children. I’ve known Rachel for over a year now. She’s only 11 years old. Rachel is always curious why I am a vegetarian. So one day she needed help with her school work and the computer was needed at that time. Being her private tutor, I helped her get the information she wanted. Then she asked whether I have a blog. That’s when I started to introduce to her my Srila Gurudeva. She was fascinated. She said, "O your Guru is sooo cute!" Then she looked at the pictures of Sri RadhaKrsna and found them adorable. Finally she looked at the pictures of Giriraja. She acclaimed, “O so sweeet!” Then when she saw a picture of Srila Gurudeva surrounded by many devotees with upraised arms, she asked, “What are they doing?” I said, “Haribol! Haribol!” Immediately Rachel raised her arms and started ...

It was indeed an auspicious start to a New Year 2010. After my morning prayers, I had to run some errand on New Year's day. And the first people my husband and I met were devotees. We greeted each other with a cheerful "Hare Krsna!" Then I dropped the two devotees from Manila at the nearby Iskcon temple. We did agree that we are after all Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's family. One family with one mission. Later that day I was going to have my first ever Nama Hatta for the year. So I picked a time which is quite suitable to all parties concerned, including myself. At 4:00 p.m., my godsister and godbrother came over. Although there were only 3 of us, it was a sweet gathering. We sang bhajans before proceeding to read and discuss from Srila Bhaktivendanta Swami Prabhupada's collected archive lectures from the Bhagavad-gita dating back to 1966. Srila Gurudev often says that preaching is for us to develop. By preaching we may get many insights and realisations. Therefore I ...